Dead On Arrival: Cavemen (2007)

BY JOHN BILLINGER

During the production of a television show, a pilot episode is made to showcase what the series its pitching will be like. Some shows are picked up, but many are not and get thrown to the side. Some shows that get picked up last for many seasons, but others either end after one season or get canceled halfway through the first season. The pilots that were either not picked up or canceled during season one are…DEAD ON ARRIVAL. Today, we will discuss one such show.

In 2004, the auto insurance company Geico began an ad campaign that was quickly trademarked as the: “Geico Cavemen.” The basic premise of the ads was a group of Cavemen who still live in the modern world getting offended by Geico’s slogan, “so easy a caveman can do it.” A cute concept for an ad, and they became very popular, scoring a spot on Madison Avenue’s Advertising Walk of Fame. So naturally, some executive at ABC with very little creative thought or vision had the idea to greenlight a TV show spinoff. It went about as well as one would think making a show about a 30-second ad could go, and it’s considered today to be one of the worst shows ever made. So let’s talk about the unaired pilot episode. 

The plot is as follows:

The show takes place in a world where Cavemen still walk among us. The show never bothers to explain how they are still around, but in any case, we follow three of them: Joel, Andy, and Nick, who all live in an apartment together in modern-day (as in 2007) Atlanta. Nick is trying to get the approval of his fiance’s father. You see, in this universe, the Cavemen are seen as a minority, so not only does the trio have to face the typical sitcom situations, but they also have to deal with racial issues. Will Nick win the approval of his fiance’s father at the Country Club, or will his wacky friends make everything awkward?

I’m sure you can tell the main issue that most people have with this show. The producers intended to have the show be a commentary on modern-day race relations and political correctness, as that was part of the joke in the original ads. However, something about making a show featuring white actors in makeup complaining about how they’re being oppressed feels tone-deaf, both back then and today. It’s just something that doesn’t work as well as they thought it would. Not to mention, they don’t look that out of place in society. They just have long hair and beards. You see a lot of guys matching that description. Also, they’re technically not cavemen. They live in a condo, not a cave; therefore, they’re not cavemen.

Eventidentally, the network realized that the original premise would not go over well, as the series received a complete overhaul after the pilot. The setting was changed from Atlanta to San Diego, and there was less emphasis on racial issues and more traditional sitcom situations. As for everything else, it’s just run-of-the-mill. It’s nothing you’ve never seen before in any other sitcom. If it didn’t have Cavemen in it, no one would be talking about it. I’m struggling to even think of something else to write about it. You can tell that smart people were working in the writing room, as there are some humorous ideas and jokes in it, but they’re pretty limited with the premise. There’s only so much one can do writing a spinoff for a 30-second commercial. Incidentally, one of the showrunners, Joe Lawson, later helmed “Modern Family,” a much better show, that did a superior job of commenting on modern issues.

The change in story and setting didn’t go over very well, lasting a month before it was canceled and forgotten. As for the Geico Cavemen ads, they continued for a few more years before eventually being retired. While the ads and show are just as much of a relic of their time as fossil remains of real cavemen, should this show have been given a chance? Nope. The network was right to cancel it, and they really shouldn’t have greenlit it in the first place. 

Overall, the show was just not a good idea. If you’re curious to check it out, I’d so go for it, but it’s a half hour per episode that you’re never gonna get back. So use your time wisely.

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