BY JOHN CARTER JR
What does it mean to truly love someone exactly as they are, to find a profound connection with another human being that transcends the confines of self-imposed visions of what our relationships can be? How does it feel when that person rejects you or hurts you and how do we feel when we are apart because of it? What is friendship, and what is romance? Certainly there is a difference between the two types of relationships. Right?
Have you ever considered that? Have you ever stopped to consider that the labels we use to describe our relationships might be arbitrary? When it comes to most everyday relationships those terms might be functional and make sense, so we will never take time to consider why we describe a certain relationship a certain way. The question is not what is the difference between friendship and romance. Rather who do we love and how do they make us feel?
Released in December 1988, Beaches – starring Bette Midler and Barbara Hershey – is a timeless love story. It is the story of the lives of C.C. Bloom and Hilary Whitney. The two women meet when they are very young and, through their chance encounter, become lifelong confidants – always finding ways back into each other’s lives. It wasn’t just a simple crossing of paths in their life journey; each time they came across each other, the more they wanted to stay in each other’s presence. While they were always seemingly working against time to be together as long as they could, their connection, strong like gravity, would eventually pull them back together – colliding like asteroids.
After meeting as children, they write letters to each other, and eventually, they move in with each other, beginning the cycle of being eternally drawn to each other and each other’s lives. C.C. has many moments where she desperately tries to pursue her singing career, men she has fallen for, and to feel beautiful as herself. All the while, Hilary lives her life fearfully, adhering to the ideas of what her family expects of her, her aspirations to be a lawyer, and how to be there for her daughter.
This odd pair of seeming opposites may not make sense, but as the phrase goes opposites attract. The two relate to each other in ways others may not understand but they like being with each other and that is what matters.
The story paints the picture of two people, a singer and a lawyer, who don’t need each other but rather want each other. They are drawn to each other because of their deep human connection. They know the other deeply matters to them more than anyone else in the universe. Throughout the film, the two women have arcs, on their own and together. We start to recognize a trend amongst both types of arcs. When they are apart, they attempt to pursue their life goal, love, and happiness apart from what they gain from each other.
While some of their endeavors on their own prove fruitful, it is the latter category that is often stifled when they are apart. The acquisition of their happiness. When they are together, they are able to be the most themselves, the most loved, the most vulnerable, and to be the most accepted. They are able to find happiness in each other through their balance of shared existences and the exciting prospect of peering into their personal worlds, and their differences. While they most certainly had their own problems, it was usually related to feeling left by the other. We see this when the women become entangled in the lives of men.
Eventually, it is discovered that Hilary has a terminal illness and C.C. understands that she must be there for her. Now was the time to be completely there for her. Hilary was scared less for herself and more for her daughter. She was mostly sad that she couldn’t have all the moments she had dreamed of having with her. C.C. recognizes this and is supportive of Hilary in her darkest moments. A lot of what happened between these two seems like it could be described as a “romantic” relationship.
True understanding, complete dedication to the other forever, feeling more than understood, excited whenever the other is around, and making each other happy. This was not simply a friendship and it wasn’t a sexual relationship. It certainly could have had qualities of the aforementioned types of relationships, and it would not have changed the love that they had for each other. The truth is all they needed was each other, just existing. Able to be admired from afar and able to bring happiness when they were near.
In the end, Hilary passes and C.C. Finally realizes the truth behind the lyrics of the first song she ever sang for Hilary:
“This is a song I’ve been singing for a long time.
It’s like an old friend.
But, you know, I think it,
it’s only recently that I discovered what it’s really about.”
“You’ve got to give a little, take a little,
and let your poor heart break a little.
That’s the story of, that’s the glory of love.
You’ve got to laugh a little, cry a little,
until the clouds roll by a little.
That’s the story of, that’s the glory of love.
As long as there’s the two of us,
we’ve got the world and all its charms.
And when the world is through with us,
we’ve got each other’s arms.
You’ve got to win a little, lose a little,
yes, and always have the blues a little.
That’s the story of, that’s the glory of love.
That’s the story of, that’s the glory of love.”
The world was through with them and they had each other’s arms. They loved each other and that on its own was enough. C.C. sings The Glory Of Love at the end of the film in a deeply somber fashion and takes in Hilary’s daughter. She begins to tell her a story about her mother. The pain of losing someone this close and deeply connected to is something that a person never gets over. Are we supposed to “get over” people? We can find peace, but the love never fades and the loss of their presence is always felt. We even see this pain being alluded to when the two were simply apart from each other.
Beaches is a true love story. It tells the tale of two girls growing up and becoming women. All the while, they can’t help but be deeply drawn to each other. Their relationship transcends what we would traditionally describe as romance or best friendship. It is love at its purest. While relationships like these could have those traditional romance qualities, they just didn’t go there. For them, being understood, willing to hear each other out, being there, and making each other happy were enough. As long as they were together, they could have anything the world had to offer, any kind of love and any form of happiness. When the world was through with them, all they had was each other, and that was enough.
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